I worry about the recovery and the time to full function, or what they define as full function following the surgery. I worry less about pain management; apparently pain management is the most worrisome factor for most who undergo the surgery. I handle strong medication well and we have "prepared" the house as much as needed.
I don't look forward to the "end" of recovery as much as I thought I would. In the past, looking forward through both of my ACL reconstructions, I fervently anticipated the end-result of surgery as it meant a return to pre-injury activities. The surgery I am about to undergo is different from ACL reconstruction. The end-state is freedom to undertake a certain level of activity that might be dramatically different from that from which I am presently limited, but only by my pain tolerance.
In other words, I can go out and run 10K today if I desire but I typically do not because I do not enjoy the day of pain that would surely follow even if I treated myself acutely beforehand. After knee replacement, I will never run another ten feet. Ever again. Even though the point of joint replacement is to gain freedom from osteoarthritic pain. The replacement prosthetic, even in these modern times, is still not considered a lifetime device. And so patients are strongly cautioned from certain activities that could damage the device, cause the need for surgical revision of the altered joint, or both of these things!
And so I rationalize where once I looked forward. I hate the walk up the beach from the water's edge after a surf. Walking in the sand is too trying with my arthritic knee. The surgery, after recovery, will spare me that agony. Walking in the woods is hardly pleasant when you have to watch every step and the focus takes away from larger enjoyment of the outdoors. The surgery, after recovery, will enable me to get into the beautiful mountains that define this region of the country, and spend a day walking uphill without the prospect of a post-hike cocktail of ibuprofen and ice.
As so continues the countdown.
Never say never, my friend. I actually do run here and there. I wasn't running at all prior to my knee replacement.
ReplyDeleteYour dread is understandable. This is a surgery that just seems wrong. Alas, it is the right thing to do. I am going to guess that your recovery will be a good one. I think we middle-aged athletes do quite well with the surgery and the recovery. There will be pain following the surgery, but it will not last. With each week, the pain lessens.
The hardest part may be believing in the joint. I'm now four years removed from my knee replacement surgery. I can honestly say I don't think about the joint much. In fact, it's my ankle (with its four screws and plate) that sometimes gives me pause. My knee is solid. I'm glad I had it replaced.
Remember, there is no definitive timeline related to your recovery. Your knee and your brain will let you know when they're ready to let you return to your activities. And you will return to them.
You will see.
Oops. I'm three years removed from it.
ReplyDeleteSee? I don't even know how long it's been! I'm now just living my life and I hardly give my knee a second thought.
Thank you. Stuff like your reply is exactly what I need right now. You just nailed the dread; the surgery isn't a fix. It's a change. And that's why it seems so wrong and gives me more pause than I expected, now that it's imminent. Thanks again.
ReplyDelete