The Perfection of Joyous Chaos

Jacob's now experienced his first full month of high school.  Academics, athletics, social activities, commuting...the whole nine.  And mom and I have been riding shotgun like a hilarious posse trying keep our robust, little gun-slinger on mission.  There have already been a series of highs and lows in every regard.  As one of my Facebook acquaintances said, himself a recent high school grad and now a freshman collegiate baseball player, "Tell him to buckle up; it's a heckuva ride."

 Jacob's school is a private, boys-only high school located in downtown Seattle.  The school's academic and athletic reputations attract student-athletes from around Puget Sound.  The school's location means almost the entire student body commutes.  Jacob commutes with mom, whose professional office is located in Seattle's Central Business District (the "CBD") about eight or nine long blocks from the school.  While he's lucky he's spared a long ride in on Metro or Light Rail, his participation in band requires his presence during zero period starting at 7:05.  Surprisingly, the early hour has not proven as difficult as I expected.

What has taken some getting used to is his self-management.  Or lack thereof.  He has no extraordinary problem in this regard, but as I am growing to understand, 14 year-old boys cannot be expected to fully manage themselves.  Said another way, only an extraordinary kid could remember to assemble and pack the car with his full football kit on Monday mornings, remember and complete every piece of homework assigned from three honors courses and Japanese language (itself something of an "honors" class), prepare and study for every test, practice drums 30 minutes a day, continue little bits of his arm rehab from this summer, attend football practice three days a week, play a game on Thursday, play in the drum line on Friday for the Varsity games, and practice with his high-commitment travel baseball program on Saturday and Sunday.

Yes, he loses track of things here and there.  Yes, he was stressed out when having been a bit too choosy (as his friends said), he did not have a homecoming date until it was too late.  And yes, he probably harbors some small bit of resentment that he can't just take the skateboard outside when he wants and kick off a few ollies with the neighborhood kids.  But holy crap if he isn't proud as heck of how he's integrating into this school, with it's burgeoning brotherhood and forward-looking approach to giving these boys an opportunity to become young men while preparing them for college and life thereafter.

Although identifying life lessons in a kid's experience can run toward the cliche, he knows he has to be more attentive to the manner in which teachers assign outside work.  Mom and I have the benefit of the school's online resources such as "Powerschool" and individual teacher websites which track class work and student individual progress.  And with his own "office" and computer now available to him at home, he can always log on himself.

But knowing that he is in transition has given me, the dad, the room to recognize that the pressure of instant high achievement is unrealistic and pronouncements of unrealistic expectations are counterproductive. He's got a lot on his plate and I do not need to make what for him could be joyous imperfection into a source of serious personal stress. He's not performing perfectly.  But he's doing great.  He's growing up differently than I did; not better or worse.  Just differently.  And so far, I am growing to understand that's perfectly fine .