Courage and Dignity

The story of Jason Collins' recent first-person column in Sports Illustrated hit the popular airwaves and the internet yesterday in a major way. For non-sports fans, Jason is a professional basketball player with a twelve year career, who came out as a gay man in this column. His choice to make an announcement of this information made him the first male player in American major professional sports to do so, despite the apparent evidence that every team in every sport has one or more gay athletes.

Before Jason, no other professional male athlete in a major sport came out during their career. Welsh Rugby superstar, Gareth Thomas came out toward the end of his career, but then left the game to advocate for gay rights. Another brit, John Amaechi, came out after completing a relatively successful professional basketball career, and has contributed an articulate dignity to the evolving public discussion on homosexuality in this country.

But why should I care enough to blog the issue? I have adored girls since I can first remember meeting one in nursery school. I still remember her name. As I do the girl I kissed in 2nd grade, after which I was sent to the principal's office and paddled. I was lucky to gain my first real girlfriend in 3rd grade (a whole year!), and then a parade of great crushes every year thereafter. By law school, my buddies in San Diego kidded that I was the "fall-in-love-guy" in their broad circle of friends, because I went for every rollergirl and punker chick that cruised by us while we sat on the boardwalk checking the Mission Beach surf. That is, of course, until Angela moved in next door and stole my heart from the world, forever.

Yet despite all the evidence of my orientation, despite the obvious google-eyes I had for nearly every girl at Hall High School, I spent a three-year period of my life, 9th to 11th grade, the subject of nearly daily, merciless bullying by a small group of kids who persisted in calling me a "fag" or "gay" or "homo." I never understood the genesis of this experience and it caused me unending pain and anxiety at a period of my life when I wanted nothing more than to date girls. I still suffer occasional nightmares from that bullying experience.

Which leads me to wonder how brutally difficult life must be for a teenager who actually is gay, but is terrified of the possibility of being called out for it. The data regarding teen gay suicide does not lie. And that's a cultural shame of tremendous magnitude. In this small way, I want to congratulate Jason Collins for his courage and dignity. The conversation might make some people uncomfortable, and it's not for me to criticize the basis for their discomfort. But the shift is on. And conversation starters like Jason Collins' will benefit us as a society in the long run.